I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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