Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We talked him into tasing himself.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
