let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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