Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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