Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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