4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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