theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
