Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
