I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
