There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
