you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
