I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
