I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
