seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
