Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
