im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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