We're like a lot better than the average bears
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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