So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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