What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
