Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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