so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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