I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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