after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
