cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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