It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
