It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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