They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
