he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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