It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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