You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize