I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
