wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
