I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
