ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
