She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize