How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
