Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
