And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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