:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
