Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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