I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
