there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The best revenge is premature balding
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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