That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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