You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
