Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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