The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
