Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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