Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
