like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
