i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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