I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
