We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
