I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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