Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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