Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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