you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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