How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
