We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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