I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
