The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
