Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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