If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
