My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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