so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
