Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
