Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
