So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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