wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
