i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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