i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I forget how to act sober
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
