I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
