Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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