if you like me you must not know who I am
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize