Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
