I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize