That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
