my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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