Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
