i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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